*An addition to the previous post, meant mainly for my Sunday School class again, specifically for the chicklets bunch*
Nessa's right in her blog... No, I wasn't burdened by the discussion today, nor was I shocked (I figured it wouldn't be to hard for some of you to "read" me either). In fact, I was burdened going into the day precisely because of what I could see & sense, and that's what made it hard to teach. But I knew also that expressing it shouldn't come from me first- and I'm glad for those of you who did, for the benefit of everyone else. Heh, I used to get comments all the time about another non-guy trait that I seem to have- the ability to "sense" & pick up on those vibs from people that something feels off. Hypersensitivity is annoying sometimes, but in times like this, it's what tips me off to what's going on around me. I see it in your faces, hear it in your speech, and at times, sense it off your AIMs too. But yea... the sharing time actually left me more encouraged; I was probably just as down & out as any of the rest of you, going into the time.
I want to encourage that kind of freedom... that your time, even in Sunday School "class," you would have the freedom to share not only questions, but burdens & prayer requests too. That time is for all of you... the lesson is for you, the candy is for you :P, and yea... always feel the freedom there
SoulThirst
Monday, April 28, 2003
Apparently we've noticed more spiders around Living Water... Josh said maybe a bunch just hatched @_@. *shudder* I hate spiders.... I HATE spiders.... >.< . Hm... what do you bait/trap them with? *sigh*. If any venture anywhere close to my room *WHAM*. Did I mention I hate spiders? ~_~
By God's grace I made it through today. Once again I'll refrain from evaluating how my talk went today. I'm trusting in God's own promise from Isaiah 55... that His word will not return to Him empty, and so that what was offered today will not be empty. This morning I wanted to scrap my talk & talk about something else, but I went with the original plan.
Something felt dark... heavy... frighteningly oppressive. For myself, I haven't slept well at all for a few days now, as well as having a feeling of being robbed of joy. On my bad days, I cannot force myself to have the patience to sit & pray. This morning felt heavily under spiritual oppression... like our gym was wrapped in a shadow. I felt like I was preaching to a wall. I know, having talked with a number of you, that many battles are going on- in your own hearts, in your families, at your schools- and it's hard, to say the least.
But I praise God for you all, that you guys haven't given up. In the movie "The Last Castle," Robert Redford plays a general who was put into prison, and he was recounting an experience when he was held as a captive in the war. His men had said "you kept us alive," but Redford replied, "no, they kept me alive. Many times in that cell, I've wanted to give up, but hearing the voices of my men in the next cell kept me from giving up. They were the ones who kept me alive"
In the same way, I owe thanks to you, the students that I have the honor to be with every week. On my bad days, it's hard to keep going. I shared with my Sunday School class, that with all these church issues going on, some days I don't have the faith that "it'll all be ok." But one big reason why I keep going... is I remember all of you, my "sheep," the group under my care. And I'm reminded to pray for you guys; I'm reminded & get to see that God is working in you; I'm given the privilege to walk alongside some of you. It keeps me going.
Thank you to my Sunday School class. Although I had a lesson ready, I knew that it didn't feel right to go ahead with it; yet at the same time, my own abilities to discern were clouded this morning too. So thanks to all of you, for helping me- helping one another- in not only being a blessing to each other, but also in helping the class see both what God is doing and our need for Him.
What I said to my class, I'll say to the youth group at large: hang in there with us, keep praying hard. I know there are a lot of things in our youth group that aren't going as well as they should; we've got holes, we've got problems. But we also have growth, maturing, and progress that's in process. An honest confession from your leaders is that we do NOT have everything together, packaged in a nice little box. There are a lot of things that are potentially messy, a number of difficult things going on. But I know I can speak for all the other counselors in saying that we desperately want the best for all of you... we want the best that God has for all of you, and we desperately want to be faithful in shepherding you all. For now, some things are incomplete, some are lacking, and a lot just needs prayer. Hang in there with us, and your prayers do make a difference.
Young Adult Fellowship tonight was good... intense but good. We talked about the sensitive, yet very important issue of: "is our community a place that feels safe for people to be open and vulnerable without feeling like there is a risk to them?" It's a hard question, and a few specific issues made the discussion all the more sensitive and painful, but it was a good one nonetheless... showed us our blind spots, the areas the Young Adult Ministry needs to grow. An intense- yet rich- time of prayer.
Galadriel told Frodo, "the quest stands on the edge of a knife"... and CCMC is very much there too.
Praying for mercy...
By God's grace I made it through today. Once again I'll refrain from evaluating how my talk went today. I'm trusting in God's own promise from Isaiah 55... that His word will not return to Him empty, and so that what was offered today will not be empty. This morning I wanted to scrap my talk & talk about something else, but I went with the original plan.
Something felt dark... heavy... frighteningly oppressive. For myself, I haven't slept well at all for a few days now, as well as having a feeling of being robbed of joy. On my bad days, I cannot force myself to have the patience to sit & pray. This morning felt heavily under spiritual oppression... like our gym was wrapped in a shadow. I felt like I was preaching to a wall. I know, having talked with a number of you, that many battles are going on- in your own hearts, in your families, at your schools- and it's hard, to say the least.
But I praise God for you all, that you guys haven't given up. In the movie "The Last Castle," Robert Redford plays a general who was put into prison, and he was recounting an experience when he was held as a captive in the war. His men had said "you kept us alive," but Redford replied, "no, they kept me alive. Many times in that cell, I've wanted to give up, but hearing the voices of my men in the next cell kept me from giving up. They were the ones who kept me alive"
In the same way, I owe thanks to you, the students that I have the honor to be with every week. On my bad days, it's hard to keep going. I shared with my Sunday School class, that with all these church issues going on, some days I don't have the faith that "it'll all be ok." But one big reason why I keep going... is I remember all of you, my "sheep," the group under my care. And I'm reminded to pray for you guys; I'm reminded & get to see that God is working in you; I'm given the privilege to walk alongside some of you. It keeps me going.
Thank you to my Sunday School class. Although I had a lesson ready, I knew that it didn't feel right to go ahead with it; yet at the same time, my own abilities to discern were clouded this morning too. So thanks to all of you, for helping me- helping one another- in not only being a blessing to each other, but also in helping the class see both what God is doing and our need for Him.
What I said to my class, I'll say to the youth group at large: hang in there with us, keep praying hard. I know there are a lot of things in our youth group that aren't going as well as they should; we've got holes, we've got problems. But we also have growth, maturing, and progress that's in process. An honest confession from your leaders is that we do NOT have everything together, packaged in a nice little box. There are a lot of things that are potentially messy, a number of difficult things going on. But I know I can speak for all the other counselors in saying that we desperately want the best for all of you... we want the best that God has for all of you, and we desperately want to be faithful in shepherding you all. For now, some things are incomplete, some are lacking, and a lot just needs prayer. Hang in there with us, and your prayers do make a difference.
Young Adult Fellowship tonight was good... intense but good. We talked about the sensitive, yet very important issue of: "is our community a place that feels safe for people to be open and vulnerable without feeling like there is a risk to them?" It's a hard question, and a few specific issues made the discussion all the more sensitive and painful, but it was a good one nonetheless... showed us our blind spots, the areas the Young Adult Ministry needs to grow. An intense- yet rich- time of prayer.
Galadriel told Frodo, "the quest stands on the edge of a knife"... and CCMC is very much there too.
Praying for mercy...
Sunday, April 20, 2003
Every generation has its defining events. One such key event was Columbine, on this day April 20, 4 years ago. Some of you in high school now perhaps still remember it (most of you would've been in junior high or younger at the time), but the events of Columbine were probably the most vividly real to those of us who were in high school at the time; that was my senior year. The days following the incident, high schools all over the nation were on alert; even some students at my school were afraid to come to school. Columbine victims like Cassie Bernall and Rachel Scott were hailed by the Christian community as "martyrs," and their life & death became rallying points for many Christians- especially youth groups at the time. Christian artists, speakers, and whole cities rallied behind the spiritual significance of the Columbine events. I suppose that it's easy to look back & see it as yet another example of "Christian fads," but I suppose part of that is cynicism speaking. (Actually for a very well-written, factual, yet piercing account of the entire Columbine story, mostly about the people, check out Day of Reckoning: Columbine and the Search for America's Soul, written by Wendy Murray Zoba, senior staff writer for Christianity today).
The irony this year, is that the anniversary of Columbine falls on Easter Sunday. On the day where churches around the world celebrate the Risen Lord, it is also the day to remember a horrible tragedy- one which would lead any thoughtful person to seriously question God. After all, "why would this loving, great God allow innocent high school students to be brutally murdered?" Some thoughts, which came from today's Easter message by Greg Jao (so the wisdom is not my own)- for the CCMC Youth, this is a reminder, and for the rest of you, a summary.
How do we celebrate and worship, even in the midst of living in a broken, wounded, & evil world?
If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
1 Corinthians 15:13-19
On Easter we celebrate Christ as the Risen Lord. If Christ only died, but remained in the grave, then our faith has no meaning- our God has no power. If the nihilists are right, and existence is meaningless, then our faith is merely wishful thinking & delusions. Our sufferings are meaningless, as well as our joys. However I have not met a single person who is content with that philosophy of life; who would be? There is nothing to live for, and certainly nothing worth dying for. Why are innocent teenagers gunned down in their own school? Why do nations wage war? Why does God at times seem quite indifferent to the "difference" between righteous and the wicked? Christians profess belief in a God who allows the rain to fall on both righteous and unrighteous; the Psalms testify to the sufferings of the righteous yet the prosperity of the wicked. What is God doing?
I don't have the answer, but I do have a place to start: the resurrection of Christ. What's the difference that the resurrection makes?
1. We have hope in the midst of difficult circumstances, hope enough to keep following Jesus
2. We have confidence in the midst of injustice
3. We have confidence that sin and evil do not have the final word- God does.
We can't always explain God- to others, or ourselves- and we won't always understand why. But we can say that one day, all wrongs will be made right, every wicked deed judged, and every righteous act rewarded. God's love was demonstrated in the sacrificing of His only begotten Son; God's justice was demonstrated in the raising of Jesus- the sinless one- a statement that "He will not remain unjustly crucified, but He will be glorified." Whatever happens in this life, whatever we see as "unfair," will be made right in that Last Day. The challenge of faith is to believe in what cannot be seen; one such thing is that there will be a new & better world- completely new- when Christ returns. It takes faith to have that hope and to look ahead, being certain of what we cannot see right now, of being certain of it even when what we do see seems completely opposed to that hope. But if you believe that this world is not the end, that there is more promised to us by God, your view of the world might be different.
May Easter not be the only day that you remember the resurrection of the Lord. There is an old traditional bedtime prayer, & part of it goes like this:
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
Seems somewhat morbid and depressing, thinking & praying about death every night. But I don't think it's necessarily paranoia or depression. Because in fact, every night, we lie down, essentially helpless for the next 6-8 hours (plus or minus, depending on your sleep schedule). We wake in the morning, really only because God gives us life for another day; there's nothing we did during our sleeping hours that contributed to our waking. And so in the morning we rise again. You could say I'm reading too much into it... but I think each night as we lie down and each morning as we rise, we are reminded that
1) God holds both life and death in His hands
2) If we have been given the grace to live this day, to rise, then there is still hope- for the world and for ourselves.
I'm so proud of all of you who got baptized today... I've watched some of you struggle & grow in faith, even just this past year, and I'm proud of you. To you all this day is even more personal- the symbolism of baptism is in being raised with Christ. This "new creation" doesn't mean perfection- not yet at least- you will still struggle; but you go through all that with hope, knowing that sin, sorrow, and struggle do not have the last word.
There's a hymn/song from Bill & Gloria Gaither (probably only those of you ages 21 & up know of them), the words of the chorus proclaiming:
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living, just because He lives
Whatever your tomorrow brings, Christ is risen.
The irony this year, is that the anniversary of Columbine falls on Easter Sunday. On the day where churches around the world celebrate the Risen Lord, it is also the day to remember a horrible tragedy- one which would lead any thoughtful person to seriously question God. After all, "why would this loving, great God allow innocent high school students to be brutally murdered?" Some thoughts, which came from today's Easter message by Greg Jao (so the wisdom is not my own)- for the CCMC Youth, this is a reminder, and for the rest of you, a summary.
How do we celebrate and worship, even in the midst of living in a broken, wounded, & evil world?
If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.
1 Corinthians 15:13-19
On Easter we celebrate Christ as the Risen Lord. If Christ only died, but remained in the grave, then our faith has no meaning- our God has no power. If the nihilists are right, and existence is meaningless, then our faith is merely wishful thinking & delusions. Our sufferings are meaningless, as well as our joys. However I have not met a single person who is content with that philosophy of life; who would be? There is nothing to live for, and certainly nothing worth dying for. Why are innocent teenagers gunned down in their own school? Why do nations wage war? Why does God at times seem quite indifferent to the "difference" between righteous and the wicked? Christians profess belief in a God who allows the rain to fall on both righteous and unrighteous; the Psalms testify to the sufferings of the righteous yet the prosperity of the wicked. What is God doing?
I don't have the answer, but I do have a place to start: the resurrection of Christ. What's the difference that the resurrection makes?
1. We have hope in the midst of difficult circumstances, hope enough to keep following Jesus
2. We have confidence in the midst of injustice
3. We have confidence that sin and evil do not have the final word- God does.
We can't always explain God- to others, or ourselves- and we won't always understand why. But we can say that one day, all wrongs will be made right, every wicked deed judged, and every righteous act rewarded. God's love was demonstrated in the sacrificing of His only begotten Son; God's justice was demonstrated in the raising of Jesus- the sinless one- a statement that "He will not remain unjustly crucified, but He will be glorified." Whatever happens in this life, whatever we see as "unfair," will be made right in that Last Day. The challenge of faith is to believe in what cannot be seen; one such thing is that there will be a new & better world- completely new- when Christ returns. It takes faith to have that hope and to look ahead, being certain of what we cannot see right now, of being certain of it even when what we do see seems completely opposed to that hope. But if you believe that this world is not the end, that there is more promised to us by God, your view of the world might be different.
May Easter not be the only day that you remember the resurrection of the Lord. There is an old traditional bedtime prayer, & part of it goes like this:
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
Seems somewhat morbid and depressing, thinking & praying about death every night. But I don't think it's necessarily paranoia or depression. Because in fact, every night, we lie down, essentially helpless for the next 6-8 hours (plus or minus, depending on your sleep schedule). We wake in the morning, really only because God gives us life for another day; there's nothing we did during our sleeping hours that contributed to our waking. And so in the morning we rise again. You could say I'm reading too much into it... but I think each night as we lie down and each morning as we rise, we are reminded that
1) God holds both life and death in His hands
2) If we have been given the grace to live this day, to rise, then there is still hope- for the world and for ourselves.
I'm so proud of all of you who got baptized today... I've watched some of you struggle & grow in faith, even just this past year, and I'm proud of you. To you all this day is even more personal- the symbolism of baptism is in being raised with Christ. This "new creation" doesn't mean perfection- not yet at least- you will still struggle; but you go through all that with hope, knowing that sin, sorrow, and struggle do not have the last word.
There's a hymn/song from Bill & Gloria Gaither (probably only those of you ages 21 & up know of them), the words of the chorus proclaiming:
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living, just because He lives
Whatever your tomorrow brings, Christ is risen.
Saturday, April 19, 2003
No time to really say much... parents are here XD. Picked them up from the airport, went to lunch at Diho (ran into RayRay ^^;;;), did some more shopping, then came back here. Walked them around the house some... at least now they know I'm not living in a shack ^^. They seem pretty happy with the house & stuff.
Went to see Vicky and Vicki's badminton game vs. Hinsdale Central & other schools (and watching Cyndi too). First time I ever went to a badminton game... very... interesting experience. Not quite sure how the scoring went, and also not quite sure what to make of the games too ^^;;. Face it, I'm just a volleyball player at heart :P. Hope you're feeling alright, recovered, & hurting less ;_;
Alright. going out with parents now.
Went to see Vicky and Vicki's badminton game vs. Hinsdale Central & other schools (and watching Cyndi too). First time I ever went to a badminton game... very... interesting experience. Not quite sure how the scoring went, and also not quite sure what to make of the games too ^^;;. Face it, I'm just a volleyball player at heart :P. Hope you're feeling alright, recovered, & hurting less ;_;
Alright. going out with parents now.
Friday, April 18, 2003
Good Friday
People throughout history in the church have offered many words regarding the crucifixion and death of Christ. Yet, the crucifixion is the one of two events in human history that are infinitely indescribable- the other event being the birth and incarnation of Christ. Christians have offered up expositions on the gospel accounts of the crucifixion, commentaries on the significance of each detail, and reflections on the applications of the crucifixion to our present lives. However, the death of the Son of God
Is not meant to be expounded upon like any mere text
Cannot be adequately explained in any commentary
And holds much greater significance in cosmic history than merely that which we can apply to our own lives
As we gaze upon the crucified Jesus, our crucified Lord, there is truly only one way to respond that at once captures the mystery and the reality of what has happened.
54When the centurion and those with hum who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”
- Matthew 27:54
Meditation:
One simple declaration, yet wrapped in that is all we could ever really say about Jesus. It is a simple utterance, and yet it demonstrates a knowledge and recognition that plumbs the depths of our faith. Of all the things to be said about Good Friday, of all the words to be written about the crucifixion, I draw our attention to those seven words of the centurion: “surely, he was the Son of God.” It is a simple enough declaration, one which we believe in our creeds and prayers, and one which is easy for even children to say; we all know that Jesus is the Son of God. Yet, allow yourself to dwell on those words, and the significance behind that confession.
That centurion was probably a Gentile, with no Jewish loyalties or sympathies. He may or may not have known about any of the events leading up to Jesus’ arrest, trial, and flogging. It is very possible that he was just an ordinary soldier, following orders for yet another crucifixion (a form of execution not unique to Jesus’ death). This particular centurion may have crucified people before, and at the very least, he was probably familiar with what crucifixion entailed. There was nothing special about this particular crucifixion at first glance.
And yet, the accounts given in the gospel point to subtle differences between Jesus’ death and that of the common crucifixion victim.
- he refuses a drink containing gall (a painkiller) so that he would remain conscious through the entire process (Matt. 27:34)
- with strength of character, he remained resolutely silent in the presence of his mockers (Luke 23:35-29)
- all of creation responded to this event by darkness and an earthquake (Matt.27:45, 51)
- his final breath was not a defeated exhaling, but a loud cry, full of strength, and fully controlled (Luke 23:46)
- he died intentionally, when he chose to (John 19:33)
This was characteristic of Jesus’ ministry- while he did employ dramatic miracles, the greater miracle is the strength of his character, his humility, and his demonstration that true power is not demonstrated by the means of the world. During his hours on the cross, he was fully aware and fully in control. In the moment when everybody thought that the Son of God had failed, he was still living out the same humble strength that characterized his life.
We do not know exactly what made the centurion recognize Jesus as the Son of God. All we are told is that after seeing everything that had happened, this Gentile, who might not have had any prior exposure to Jesus or his teachings, undeniably declared- publicly- a confession of Jesus’ identity. Nobody had to teach him what to say or how to say it; nobody listed for him “signs by which to identify the Son of God.” He simply knew.
Is Jesus simply a “good idea to believe in”? Do you say that he is the Son of God because it is what Christians are taught to believe? Or perhaps we recognize Jesus’ role in our salvation- He is the Son of God because only the Son of God is sinless and can take away our sin- and so we believe because it is a theological necessity for salvation that we affirm Jesus’ identity. However, most likely none of those thoughts passed through the mind of the centurion. There was only one central thought: by His acts of power, this crucified Man demonstrated his power, a power that can only be wielded by the Son of God.
- There was something in the person of Jesus, a power that could be felt even by standing in the shadow of his crucified body.
- There is a divine quality about how he carried himself through such dark circumstances.
- There was a realization that, whatever it was that the centurion specifically saw and experienced, that it was only God- and the Son of God- that could have been responsible.
God will not be mocked, and his power and reality will not be denied, not even on the cross.
Application:
What have you seen Christ do in your life? Have you encountered something so extraordinary that causes you to fall on your knees in worship and exclaim, “that could only be of God!”
Brennan Manning writes that “grace abounds and walks around the edges of our everyday experience.” Do you believe that God acts in such a way that parts of our daily existence are actually supernaturally charged with God’s activity? The centurion was doing something that came very regularly to him; he was following orders, and for all he knew, was going through another ordinary day on the job. It was ordinary until the moment Jesus breathed his last. At that moment, the pieces came together, and he saw what was going on in its true reality: this was literally an act of God. When have you, in the course of your daily schoolwork, relationships, or job, noticed that there was an “extraordinary” quality about what was going on?
When we affirm with our mouths that “Jesus is the Son of God,” we are making more than a statement of doctrine or mental belief. If Jesus really is the Son of God, it changes how we live. There is no longer anything “ordinary” about our lives anymore. If we say that we believe that God is active in our lives, there is quality of life which makes us see, in every circumstance, the presence of God. Jesus Christ came as God Incarnate, Emmanuel God with us, into the very ordinariness of life.
Do you see him there?
Does your heart respond in worship to what you see God doing, thankfully recognizing- as Jacob did- that “God is in this place, and I was not aware of it!” (Gen.28:16)
Questions:
What can you do to make yourself more aware of God’s activity in your daily life?
How do you respond when you see God at work? Do you take it for granted, or do you worship?
Pray that God will open your eyes and give you spiritual insight to discern His activity in your life
People throughout history in the church have offered many words regarding the crucifixion and death of Christ. Yet, the crucifixion is the one of two events in human history that are infinitely indescribable- the other event being the birth and incarnation of Christ. Christians have offered up expositions on the gospel accounts of the crucifixion, commentaries on the significance of each detail, and reflections on the applications of the crucifixion to our present lives. However, the death of the Son of God
Is not meant to be expounded upon like any mere text
Cannot be adequately explained in any commentary
And holds much greater significance in cosmic history than merely that which we can apply to our own lives
As we gaze upon the crucified Jesus, our crucified Lord, there is truly only one way to respond that at once captures the mystery and the reality of what has happened.
54When the centurion and those with hum who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”
- Matthew 27:54
Meditation:
One simple declaration, yet wrapped in that is all we could ever really say about Jesus. It is a simple utterance, and yet it demonstrates a knowledge and recognition that plumbs the depths of our faith. Of all the things to be said about Good Friday, of all the words to be written about the crucifixion, I draw our attention to those seven words of the centurion: “surely, he was the Son of God.” It is a simple enough declaration, one which we believe in our creeds and prayers, and one which is easy for even children to say; we all know that Jesus is the Son of God. Yet, allow yourself to dwell on those words, and the significance behind that confession.
That centurion was probably a Gentile, with no Jewish loyalties or sympathies. He may or may not have known about any of the events leading up to Jesus’ arrest, trial, and flogging. It is very possible that he was just an ordinary soldier, following orders for yet another crucifixion (a form of execution not unique to Jesus’ death). This particular centurion may have crucified people before, and at the very least, he was probably familiar with what crucifixion entailed. There was nothing special about this particular crucifixion at first glance.
And yet, the accounts given in the gospel point to subtle differences between Jesus’ death and that of the common crucifixion victim.
- he refuses a drink containing gall (a painkiller) so that he would remain conscious through the entire process (Matt. 27:34)
- with strength of character, he remained resolutely silent in the presence of his mockers (Luke 23:35-29)
- all of creation responded to this event by darkness and an earthquake (Matt.27:45, 51)
- his final breath was not a defeated exhaling, but a loud cry, full of strength, and fully controlled (Luke 23:46)
- he died intentionally, when he chose to (John 19:33)
This was characteristic of Jesus’ ministry- while he did employ dramatic miracles, the greater miracle is the strength of his character, his humility, and his demonstration that true power is not demonstrated by the means of the world. During his hours on the cross, he was fully aware and fully in control. In the moment when everybody thought that the Son of God had failed, he was still living out the same humble strength that characterized his life.
We do not know exactly what made the centurion recognize Jesus as the Son of God. All we are told is that after seeing everything that had happened, this Gentile, who might not have had any prior exposure to Jesus or his teachings, undeniably declared- publicly- a confession of Jesus’ identity. Nobody had to teach him what to say or how to say it; nobody listed for him “signs by which to identify the Son of God.” He simply knew.
Is Jesus simply a “good idea to believe in”? Do you say that he is the Son of God because it is what Christians are taught to believe? Or perhaps we recognize Jesus’ role in our salvation- He is the Son of God because only the Son of God is sinless and can take away our sin- and so we believe because it is a theological necessity for salvation that we affirm Jesus’ identity. However, most likely none of those thoughts passed through the mind of the centurion. There was only one central thought: by His acts of power, this crucified Man demonstrated his power, a power that can only be wielded by the Son of God.
- There was something in the person of Jesus, a power that could be felt even by standing in the shadow of his crucified body.
- There is a divine quality about how he carried himself through such dark circumstances.
- There was a realization that, whatever it was that the centurion specifically saw and experienced, that it was only God- and the Son of God- that could have been responsible.
God will not be mocked, and his power and reality will not be denied, not even on the cross.
Application:
What have you seen Christ do in your life? Have you encountered something so extraordinary that causes you to fall on your knees in worship and exclaim, “that could only be of God!”
Brennan Manning writes that “grace abounds and walks around the edges of our everyday experience.” Do you believe that God acts in such a way that parts of our daily existence are actually supernaturally charged with God’s activity? The centurion was doing something that came very regularly to him; he was following orders, and for all he knew, was going through another ordinary day on the job. It was ordinary until the moment Jesus breathed his last. At that moment, the pieces came together, and he saw what was going on in its true reality: this was literally an act of God. When have you, in the course of your daily schoolwork, relationships, or job, noticed that there was an “extraordinary” quality about what was going on?
When we affirm with our mouths that “Jesus is the Son of God,” we are making more than a statement of doctrine or mental belief. If Jesus really is the Son of God, it changes how we live. There is no longer anything “ordinary” about our lives anymore. If we say that we believe that God is active in our lives, there is quality of life which makes us see, in every circumstance, the presence of God. Jesus Christ came as God Incarnate, Emmanuel God with us, into the very ordinariness of life.
Do you see him there?
Does your heart respond in worship to what you see God doing, thankfully recognizing- as Jacob did- that “God is in this place, and I was not aware of it!” (Gen.28:16)
Questions:
What can you do to make yourself more aware of God’s activity in your daily life?
How do you respond when you see God at work? Do you take it for granted, or do you worship?
Pray that God will open your eyes and give you spiritual insight to discern His activity in your life
Thursday, April 17, 2003
Wanted to respond to what I've been reading on a few xangas, and also on just some of the murmerings that have gone around CCMC.
What is a church?
I mean, really, what is the church to you?
I suppose for some of you, the answer is a number of things:
- a place to learn about God
- a place to be with friends
- a place to meet friends
- a place to meet a "certain someone"
- a place to go where you get out of the house & away from family
And no, I'm not saying I agree with all of those "definitions" or reasons for going... I'm saying that, if I was to ask around, I'd probably find at least one person who'd say one of those.
And that's precisely the point: there's a lot of diversity, and diversity doesn't seem to fit with unity. But as I've been learning, it's not an either-or mentality.
To those of you who've been at CCMC for a while, and those of you who are there genuinely to seek God:
I thank God for people like you, who care about our church. I'm also encouraged to see the desire to seek God with committed hearts. And at the same time, I want to remind you (as much as it is a reminder to myself) that your faith, your desire for God are both gifts from God. Let me ask this question: these things that frustrate you, upset you, disturb you: are they causing you to pray more about it, or are they causing to talk more/complain more about it?
If what you desire is the good of the church and these observations are from God, then God will move your heart to pray. But if it's all just talk, wishful-thinking, and negative attitudes... then there needs to be some hard self-thinking. I know many of you, deep down, really do love our group & want to see it continue to grow. In the growing process, there'll be a lot of stuff that's messy, a lot that looks wrong... it's ok; those thing will change, & people will change. Having been in youth groups for a long time, here are some of the realities of youth groups:
- there'll always be people there who don't "fit in"
- there'll always be people who go for "wrong reasons"
- there'll always be people who don't know what is proper behavior/etiquette/attitudes for "church"
How do I know that?
Because if the church is really doing what Jesus told it to do- go out and bring the sinners, sick, and rejected people into our community and introduce them to Him- then there'll always be people in those categories. There's a name for people in the Bible who were big on motives for worshipping, how people behaved at church, and how devoted people were to Jesus- they were called Pharisees. Somehow, I doubt that the tax collectors, lepers, and prostitutes really "fit in" anywhere... I don't think they necessarily came to Jesus for "the right reasons," and their behavior was certainly not what we would call "godly." But Jesus hung around them; I need to learn to hang around people like that in our own community. People will come for the wrong reasons- that's ok, at least they come; I'd rather have them come here for wrong reasons than for them to go out somewhere else for the same reasons.
I always found it funny how people talk about "this youth group...." or "our church..." or "Christians...", as if those three "groups" have bodies, minds, and souls of their own. A "church" does not exist as a separate entity. The church is just what we call each one of you individuals- yes, you reading this right now, when you gather with other people. CCMCers, there is no "CCMC Youth Group" unless there was you as a part of that group. Therefore, if the "group" is a certain way, it's not "the group's" fault- it's easy to pin the guilt onto a nonexistent "group" identity (no such thing). It boils down to a question of "am I contributing to this group's health or to its sickness?" What I said earlier... when there are issues and sin in our group... does the realization move you to pray... or just to talk, to complain? Prayer is life-giving; talk/gossip/complaints, honestly, will suck the life out of a group. For every minute of complaining, there needs to be 5 minutes of giving thanks, 5 minutes of praying for yourself, and 5 minutes of praying for whatever you are complaining about (that's not an exact formula, by the way)... what I mean is, complaining is ok sometimes; we all need to vent & get stuff off our chest. But it is never a good thing to complain & then leave it there. Once we've vented, once we've expressed our anger, frustration, & hurt- we ought to move forward from that point.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
-------------------------------------------
To those of you who are new to our church, to our community:
Maybe you've only come once or twice, maybe you've only been here for 3 months or less. But we're glad you're here (and if I haven't personally said hi to you, please come say hi to me; it's not that I don't want to, but that I'm shortsighted like that :P). Our community is not perfect, and I know it can be hard to find a place to fit. But I believe that to be a part of a community, effort must be on both sides. Forgive us when we don't extend welcome and acceptance to you. But my encouragement to you is to not give up on trying.
What is a church?
I mean, really, what is the church to you?
I suppose for some of you, the answer is a number of things:
- a place to learn about God
- a place to be with friends
- a place to meet friends
- a place to meet a "certain someone"
- a place to go where you get out of the house & away from family
And no, I'm not saying I agree with all of those "definitions" or reasons for going... I'm saying that, if I was to ask around, I'd probably find at least one person who'd say one of those.
And that's precisely the point: there's a lot of diversity, and diversity doesn't seem to fit with unity. But as I've been learning, it's not an either-or mentality.
To those of you who've been at CCMC for a while, and those of you who are there genuinely to seek God:
I thank God for people like you, who care about our church. I'm also encouraged to see the desire to seek God with committed hearts. And at the same time, I want to remind you (as much as it is a reminder to myself) that your faith, your desire for God are both gifts from God. Let me ask this question: these things that frustrate you, upset you, disturb you: are they causing you to pray more about it, or are they causing to talk more/complain more about it?
If what you desire is the good of the church and these observations are from God, then God will move your heart to pray. But if it's all just talk, wishful-thinking, and negative attitudes... then there needs to be some hard self-thinking. I know many of you, deep down, really do love our group & want to see it continue to grow. In the growing process, there'll be a lot of stuff that's messy, a lot that looks wrong... it's ok; those thing will change, & people will change. Having been in youth groups for a long time, here are some of the realities of youth groups:
- there'll always be people there who don't "fit in"
- there'll always be people who go for "wrong reasons"
- there'll always be people who don't know what is proper behavior/etiquette/attitudes for "church"
How do I know that?
Because if the church is really doing what Jesus told it to do- go out and bring the sinners, sick, and rejected people into our community and introduce them to Him- then there'll always be people in those categories. There's a name for people in the Bible who were big on motives for worshipping, how people behaved at church, and how devoted people were to Jesus- they were called Pharisees. Somehow, I doubt that the tax collectors, lepers, and prostitutes really "fit in" anywhere... I don't think they necessarily came to Jesus for "the right reasons," and their behavior was certainly not what we would call "godly." But Jesus hung around them; I need to learn to hang around people like that in our own community. People will come for the wrong reasons- that's ok, at least they come; I'd rather have them come here for wrong reasons than for them to go out somewhere else for the same reasons.
I always found it funny how people talk about "this youth group...." or "our church..." or "Christians...", as if those three "groups" have bodies, minds, and souls of their own. A "church" does not exist as a separate entity. The church is just what we call each one of you individuals- yes, you reading this right now, when you gather with other people. CCMCers, there is no "CCMC Youth Group" unless there was you as a part of that group. Therefore, if the "group" is a certain way, it's not "the group's" fault- it's easy to pin the guilt onto a nonexistent "group" identity (no such thing). It boils down to a question of "am I contributing to this group's health or to its sickness?" What I said earlier... when there are issues and sin in our group... does the realization move you to pray... or just to talk, to complain? Prayer is life-giving; talk/gossip/complaints, honestly, will suck the life out of a group. For every minute of complaining, there needs to be 5 minutes of giving thanks, 5 minutes of praying for yourself, and 5 minutes of praying for whatever you are complaining about (that's not an exact formula, by the way)... what I mean is, complaining is ok sometimes; we all need to vent & get stuff off our chest. But it is never a good thing to complain & then leave it there. Once we've vented, once we've expressed our anger, frustration, & hurt- we ought to move forward from that point.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
-------------------------------------------
To those of you who are new to our church, to our community:
Maybe you've only come once or twice, maybe you've only been here for 3 months or less. But we're glad you're here (and if I haven't personally said hi to you, please come say hi to me; it's not that I don't want to, but that I'm shortsighted like that :P). Our community is not perfect, and I know it can be hard to find a place to fit. But I believe that to be a part of a community, effort must be on both sides. Forgive us when we don't extend welcome and acceptance to you. But my encouragement to you is to not give up on trying.
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
[Original Post: Xanga]
And that's only because I'm at Wheaton, and signing into the Blogspot interface is somewhat annoying here (the computers here are somewhat annoying in general).
Anyway, it's been a good week... time hasn't been getting away from me like it has in the past. Yesterday I went to downtown Naperville to do some more wandering. Down & around the Riverwalk, moms & their little kids were running and playing. I think I gained more spiritual insight in watching the children for an hour than from studying in my room. Walked down to Naperville Central, walked around the outside of the school. At the same time, prayed for all of you while there (and you too).
Finished reading through David Hansen's book, Long Wandering Prayer these past couple days. And he does a better job of explaining it than I ever will. But a short summary here will suffice, mainly to explain what my past 2 entries have been about.
Wandering prayer is the mental & spiritual equivalent to physical wandering. In physical wandering, there isn't a reason for going, and there isn't even a specific destination. You wander, and take things as they come. In wandering prayer, I don't set the agenda for what I'm praying for; I don't "control" my prayers. I just wander (usually helps if I'm actually physically moving around), and I let my mind take in what I see, hear, feel and then let those things inform my prayers. For example, walking to Naperville Central, brought to mind the students I know there, so I prayed for them. Watching children play reminded me of Christ's words of having faith like a child- prompting me to pray for that kind of faith. In wandering prayer, it's ok if my mind loses focus... I just pray for what comes to mind. The world is no longer a distraction- I don't have to close my eyes and shut out the world- I can take it all in, recognizing the the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof (Psalm 24). Wandering is also refreshing... relaxing. I'm not in a hurry to get anywhere or do anything; I can simply wander. I can also pray for much longer; I don't get restless or bored from sitting in one place. Time passes slower when you wander; it's only psychological, but it helps. Especially when there are a lot of things to pray for and those things are heavy things- as is the case presently- wandering can distribute the load... and praying becomes an easy rhythm.
If this sounds interesting, ask me about it. Or read the book; it's short, easy, an could change your prayer life.
--------------------------
The weather's a bit cooler today, not quite as sunny :P. But the day still feels peaceful
And that's only because I'm at Wheaton, and signing into the Blogspot interface is somewhat annoying here (the computers here are somewhat annoying in general).
Anyway, it's been a good week... time hasn't been getting away from me like it has in the past. Yesterday I went to downtown Naperville to do some more wandering. Down & around the Riverwalk, moms & their little kids were running and playing. I think I gained more spiritual insight in watching the children for an hour than from studying in my room. Walked down to Naperville Central, walked around the outside of the school. At the same time, prayed for all of you while there (and you too).
Finished reading through David Hansen's book, Long Wandering Prayer these past couple days. And he does a better job of explaining it than I ever will. But a short summary here will suffice, mainly to explain what my past 2 entries have been about.
Wandering prayer is the mental & spiritual equivalent to physical wandering. In physical wandering, there isn't a reason for going, and there isn't even a specific destination. You wander, and take things as they come. In wandering prayer, I don't set the agenda for what I'm praying for; I don't "control" my prayers. I just wander (usually helps if I'm actually physically moving around), and I let my mind take in what I see, hear, feel and then let those things inform my prayers. For example, walking to Naperville Central, brought to mind the students I know there, so I prayed for them. Watching children play reminded me of Christ's words of having faith like a child- prompting me to pray for that kind of faith. In wandering prayer, it's ok if my mind loses focus... I just pray for what comes to mind. The world is no longer a distraction- I don't have to close my eyes and shut out the world- I can take it all in, recognizing the the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof (Psalm 24). Wandering is also refreshing... relaxing. I'm not in a hurry to get anywhere or do anything; I can simply wander. I can also pray for much longer; I don't get restless or bored from sitting in one place. Time passes slower when you wander; it's only psychological, but it helps. Especially when there are a lot of things to pray for and those things are heavy things- as is the case presently- wandering can distribute the load... and praying becomes an easy rhythm.
If this sounds interesting, ask me about it. Or read the book; it's short, easy, an could change your prayer life.
--------------------------
The weather's a bit cooler today, not quite as sunny :P. But the day still feels peaceful
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
Something led me to wander tonight. A full moon provided enough light even to write by. So I just wandered, first around the backyard, then beyond the treeline to the open field. The open space is, in some ways frightening; I wondered if there were wild animals wandering the same field. The moon cast an eerie white-grey hue, while the wind howled from the west. The willow tree's branches creaked with every wind gust.
I received more insight about God from wandering, lying on the grass and taking notice of what was around me, than I have in a day's worth of reading.
------------------------------------------
Praise God for all the youth who are getting baptized on Easter
Glad to have time with Joyce, catching up over the semester & looking ahead.
The little Italian coffe/ice cream place in downtown Wheaton is pretty nice... good ambiance/atmosphere, very cozy.
Mailed out my taxes today; glad they're done
Thank you, all of you in my Sunday School class, for the questions and discussions these past couple weeks. Gave me a lot of inspiration... think I know what my sermons in 2 weeks will be on now.
I received more insight about God from wandering, lying on the grass and taking notice of what was around me, than I have in a day's worth of reading.
------------------------------------------
Praise God for all the youth who are getting baptized on Easter
Glad to have time with Joyce, catching up over the semester & looking ahead.
The little Italian coffe/ice cream place in downtown Wheaton is pretty nice... good ambiance/atmosphere, very cozy.
Mailed out my taxes today; glad they're done
Thank you, all of you in my Sunday School class, for the questions and discussions these past couple weeks. Gave me a lot of inspiration... think I know what my sermons in 2 weeks will be on now.
Sunday, April 13, 2003
This week my blog will have devotionals on Passion Week, leading up to Easter Sunday. Read and take what you will- or pass it up. These are humble offerings, and I don’t pretend that there is deep wisdom here. I pray only that this leads you to think more of Christ this Holy Week. Soli Deo Gloria
Passion Week.
Despite all modern definitions of “passion,” the original meaning of “passion” meant “suffering.” Talking about the passion of Jesus had little to do with strong emotions or individual devotion- it had much more to do with the sufferings of Christ in the final week of His life. Similarly, our “passion” for Jesus ought not be defined by strong emotions that we have- or do not have- for him. This is a week of strong emotions- especially for Jesus’ disciples- yet we all know the fickle nature of our emotions. I believe, more accurately, that passion week is a time to consider both the sufferings of Jesus for our sake- as well as the sufferings we are willing (or unwilling) to endure for His.
The sufferings of Jesus are not easy to behold. Philip Yancey and Richard John Neuhaus both comment on the contemporary church’s desire to “move past” Good Friday and hurry on to Easter. Nobody wants to spend too much time thinking about Jesus suffering, being crucified, and dying. It’s depressing, morbid… we much rather consider Easter and the joy of resurrection. Nobody likes to think about Jesus on the cross- it’s much “happier” to picture Jesus in glory in heaven. Some churches don’t like a Good Friday Service that is “depressing”- they want to focus instead on the “good news of the cross”… and there’s nothing wrong with that. Except that, in my opinion, it robs some of the “punch” of Easter- there’s little contrast.
We don’t like to think about our sin either- we move rather quickly to say “Jesus forgave our sin! Praise God!” It makes us uncomfortable for any pastor or teacher to dwell on the issue of sin; we don’t like to think about our own sin- the many ways we sin, the insult of our sin to God, and the punishment sin deserves. It’s not good for building up good self-esteem; we don’t want to feel down about ourselves- and so we ignore the “mess” of our lives, or at least move speedily past it. Yet here’s the rub- unless there is Good Friday, there is no Easter. Unless we’ve considered our sin, there’s no considering forgiveness.
For most of us, “Jesus forgiving me” is a pithy Sunday School answer, but it means very little- some of you perhaps wonder why that truth feels so “ordinary”… almost boring. Consider this: the depth to which you are aware of your sin is the corresponding height to which you experience the good news of God’s forgiveness. Most of the people in the gospel stories that REALLY experienced forgiveness were people who knew how completely sinful they are- tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, etc. They had no “good self-esteem” to speak of- and yet when Jesus found them, their joy was all the more greater.
I invite you this week to be willing to face the “mess” in your life- to come face to face with your sins and the darkness in your heart. It won’t be pleasant, and you might not feel all that great about yourself in the process- and yet in the process you might find yourself identifying with these words: Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. But when those very words are lifted up to Jesus- how swift and sweet will be realization that from those very depths, Jesus has met you and lifted you up.
What areas of “mess” in my life am I in need of Jesus?
Do my emotions for Jesus- and professions of faith for him- include a willingness to suffer alongside with him, to experience His “passion”?
Passion Week.
Despite all modern definitions of “passion,” the original meaning of “passion” meant “suffering.” Talking about the passion of Jesus had little to do with strong emotions or individual devotion- it had much more to do with the sufferings of Christ in the final week of His life. Similarly, our “passion” for Jesus ought not be defined by strong emotions that we have- or do not have- for him. This is a week of strong emotions- especially for Jesus’ disciples- yet we all know the fickle nature of our emotions. I believe, more accurately, that passion week is a time to consider both the sufferings of Jesus for our sake- as well as the sufferings we are willing (or unwilling) to endure for His.
The sufferings of Jesus are not easy to behold. Philip Yancey and Richard John Neuhaus both comment on the contemporary church’s desire to “move past” Good Friday and hurry on to Easter. Nobody wants to spend too much time thinking about Jesus suffering, being crucified, and dying. It’s depressing, morbid… we much rather consider Easter and the joy of resurrection. Nobody likes to think about Jesus on the cross- it’s much “happier” to picture Jesus in glory in heaven. Some churches don’t like a Good Friday Service that is “depressing”- they want to focus instead on the “good news of the cross”… and there’s nothing wrong with that. Except that, in my opinion, it robs some of the “punch” of Easter- there’s little contrast.
We don’t like to think about our sin either- we move rather quickly to say “Jesus forgave our sin! Praise God!” It makes us uncomfortable for any pastor or teacher to dwell on the issue of sin; we don’t like to think about our own sin- the many ways we sin, the insult of our sin to God, and the punishment sin deserves. It’s not good for building up good self-esteem; we don’t want to feel down about ourselves- and so we ignore the “mess” of our lives, or at least move speedily past it. Yet here’s the rub- unless there is Good Friday, there is no Easter. Unless we’ve considered our sin, there’s no considering forgiveness.
For most of us, “Jesus forgiving me” is a pithy Sunday School answer, but it means very little- some of you perhaps wonder why that truth feels so “ordinary”… almost boring. Consider this: the depth to which you are aware of your sin is the corresponding height to which you experience the good news of God’s forgiveness. Most of the people in the gospel stories that REALLY experienced forgiveness were people who knew how completely sinful they are- tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers, etc. They had no “good self-esteem” to speak of- and yet when Jesus found them, their joy was all the more greater.
I invite you this week to be willing to face the “mess” in your life- to come face to face with your sins and the darkness in your heart. It won’t be pleasant, and you might not feel all that great about yourself in the process- and yet in the process you might find yourself identifying with these words: Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. But when those very words are lifted up to Jesus- how swift and sweet will be realization that from those very depths, Jesus has met you and lifted you up.
What areas of “mess” in my life am I in need of Jesus?
Do my emotions for Jesus- and professions of faith for him- include a willingness to suffer alongside with him, to experience His “passion”?
Friday, April 11, 2003
I'm glad for being able to see people lately. My youth pastor Joseph has been in town this week, & so I've gotten opportunities here & there to chat with him this week. Got some good "cheap free advice" (as he calls it) from him & yea... just getting to talk about parts of life.
Bible study yesterday was cool too... it's so much more fulfilling with more people as a part of our group now.
Been having good phone conversations with different people from across the nation too; and thanks to everyone who's been sending me IMforwards/e-mails for no other reason than just to see how I'm doing. I really appreciate it.
Glad I ran into you at Saga today ^_^. If you want to do a meal sometime, that'd be nice (if your schedule can fit it)... I know your life gets filled with ups & downs and I know you're hangin' in there... but yea, it'd still be nice to catch up.
---------------------------
I posted Psalm 42 yesterday because it was the best expression of how I've been doing spiritually- both the highs & the lows. The lows- having prayers met with mostly silence, and also battles with living a sanctified life. But the highs- not giving up, God providing encouragement even in the midst of lows. I say this because something in me feels compelled to talk about how I'm doing spiritually (more than just the daily activities & unimportant stuff. But yea... I'll say more when I've got more to say. My thoughts have been scattered, fragmented, disordered... difficult to pull together
---------------------------
[The below is for Mike Huang, Jk0h, and whoever else is into theology and/or theological books]
Theology conference was today... so I did my annual splurge at the book tables. The selections were more eclectic this year, fewer books that would be of interest to the non-academic readership. Eerdmans did have the entire NICNT and NICOT commentary series there for 50% off. But I figure, I don't have the money or need for the commentaries at present. I did pick up Dr. Beale's commentary on Revelation (New International Greek Testament Commentary)...the definitive commentary on Revelation. The evening session tonight was really good... D.A. Carson was the speaker, and he basically gave an exegetical exposition on Romans 3:21-26. He went FAST, and it was definitely a vey high-roller academic presentation (given the audience he was speaking to). I could barely keep up/take notes, but it was very insightfully presented. The conference on the doctrine of justification is fairly interesting... the notion of whether or not the imputation of Christ's righteousness is important to the Christian faith.
Actually, for the non-theologian, I think justification IS a very important issue. I think Jerry Bridges does a great job of discussing it in his book Disciplines of Grace; CJ Mahaney's The Cross-Centered Life is also a very accessible, readable, and compelling call to Christians to make the cross- and justification- a very practical and integral part of any Christian's daily life. Maybe I'll talk about that some other day, but yea, the theology conference was pretty good. I enjoyed Carson, although some of the other Wheaton students were nodding off; granted, his talk was not exactly the most easy to follow. Although I did enjoy sitting in the academic setting again.
Bible study yesterday was cool too... it's so much more fulfilling with more people as a part of our group now.
Been having good phone conversations with different people from across the nation too; and thanks to everyone who's been sending me IMforwards/e-mails for no other reason than just to see how I'm doing. I really appreciate it.
Glad I ran into you at Saga today ^_^. If you want to do a meal sometime, that'd be nice (if your schedule can fit it)... I know your life gets filled with ups & downs and I know you're hangin' in there... but yea, it'd still be nice to catch up.
---------------------------
I posted Psalm 42 yesterday because it was the best expression of how I've been doing spiritually- both the highs & the lows. The lows- having prayers met with mostly silence, and also battles with living a sanctified life. But the highs- not giving up, God providing encouragement even in the midst of lows. I say this because something in me feels compelled to talk about how I'm doing spiritually (more than just the daily activities & unimportant stuff. But yea... I'll say more when I've got more to say. My thoughts have been scattered, fragmented, disordered... difficult to pull together
---------------------------
[The below is for Mike Huang, Jk0h, and whoever else is into theology and/or theological books]
Theology conference was today... so I did my annual splurge at the book tables. The selections were more eclectic this year, fewer books that would be of interest to the non-academic readership. Eerdmans did have the entire NICNT and NICOT commentary series there for 50% off. But I figure, I don't have the money or need for the commentaries at present. I did pick up Dr. Beale's commentary on Revelation (New International Greek Testament Commentary)...the definitive commentary on Revelation. The evening session tonight was really good... D.A. Carson was the speaker, and he basically gave an exegetical exposition on Romans 3:21-26. He went FAST, and it was definitely a vey high-roller academic presentation (given the audience he was speaking to). I could barely keep up/take notes, but it was very insightfully presented. The conference on the doctrine of justification is fairly interesting... the notion of whether or not the imputation of Christ's righteousness is important to the Christian faith.
Actually, for the non-theologian, I think justification IS a very important issue. I think Jerry Bridges does a great job of discussing it in his book Disciplines of Grace; CJ Mahaney's The Cross-Centered Life is also a very accessible, readable, and compelling call to Christians to make the cross- and justification- a very practical and integral part of any Christian's daily life. Maybe I'll talk about that some other day, but yea, the theology conference was pretty good. I enjoyed Carson, although some of the other Wheaton students were nodding off; granted, his talk was not exactly the most easy to follow. Although I did enjoy sitting in the academic setting again.
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
These things I remember as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me-
a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Haha... Jessica & Nessa came here earlier to work on their English paper ^^;;. That was fun.
Woke up at 4:45 this morning again ~_~ ... and last night I was up till 2:00am. The strange thing is... I don't really feel tired. Must be the fact that, coming back from camp, I slept from 7:30p.m. till 9:30 the next morning ^^;;;. Still been trying to fight off this stupid cold/sore throat thing that I seem to have developed over the weekend at camp. At least it's no longer a drain on my energy the way it was on Sunday; now it's just a bit annoying, having to cough, clear my sinuses, and feel "phlegmy."
I enjoyed sitting under the teaching of Jerry Root again, even though most of it is repeated from all the classes I've had with him, it was still just as engaging, just as challenging. Most of you would have to simply take my word for it, but it seems that no matter what the class topic/title is, he always uses the same stories and same points in all those classes. Sometimes I wonder how that's possible... how a class on "Intro to Christian Education" can use the same stories as a class on C.S. Lewis. But more so than just the content of Jerry's talks, is how real it is when he says it. Again, most of you will have to take this by faith, but having heard Jerry say the same content over & over, I've realized that the "power" of his talks is actually not so much in the content, but it's in the person delivering it. I think someone else could take Jerry's talks, re-use the exact same points, and it would not have the impact that it does coming from him. That, I believe, is because the content of his talks is real to him. I've watched this man live out a life of loving God, loving people, and being honest with his own scratched-record; it sounds real because it is. It's easy to say "well of course, that's the way it should be." But how often I recognize how far my words (teaching, preaching, sharing) are such a far distance from what is lived-out. We do indeed live below the level of our convictions. Yet Jerry is an example to me of where someone of faith could be at... 30 years from now, when I'm his age, I would want to be at the place where he is in his relationship with God. Jerry's shared, time & again, that he's got a scratched-record like everyone else, and I don't have the illusion that somehow he is any more holy than the rest. But the difference with him is that his faith is lived out... he got there because he's always learning, always desiring to love Jesus more.
Because of being sick, I don’t feel like I got to enjoy camp as fully as I could’ve. But even so, the testimony time was such a blessing, and yet painful at the same time. It’s so easy to forget that a “youth group” is made up of individuals, each with a multitude of joys, pains, and burdens. And of course, during the course of the week-to-week at church, everyone looks fine. These times at camp remind me that there’s much more going on in the lives of the youth than meets the eye, that even when all seems well, they still need prayer. The testimonies gave me a good starting place to know how to pray for them.
I went up to share too, which is not something I usually do. But I felt convicted, largely because of my very visible impatience with almost everyone throughout the course of the beginning of camp. I suppose it’s due to being high-strung over camp planning, but it’s of no excuse. But it spite of my impatience and lack of love, I was humbled by how much they loved me. This came out in the little ways… small comments someone would make, the way some of them related with me, and at times, what someone would actually come out & say. And despite my goofiness, I’m well-loved here, a love which I do not deserve & cannot ask for.
David Hansen wrote in his book The Art of Pastoring that he as a pastor feels that HE is the one who needs to thank the congregation, not the other way around; I tend to agree with him. It’s really not the youth who are to be thanking me. It’s I who should thank them:
- for giving me trust and access to their lives
- by allowing me to pray with them, share with them
- for being teachable
- for being gracious when I’m really in need of their grace.
- for the opportunities of growth that serving them has given me
- for encouraging my own walk with God when I see God working in them
At camp, and here too, I want to take the opportunity to thank the youth group, for allowing this goofy scratched-record person to be in your midst and to be involved in your lives.
I thought of something during camp. Sometimes I get asked if there’s anything that the people can do to help me do my job. I can think of one thing: let me know how I can pray for you. In this way, I don’t have to guess, nor do I have to pull prayer requests out like pulling teeth. Please do feel free to tell me how to pray for you all.
===========================
Afternoon Bible study at Wheaton was fun; glad Esther could join us. Ran around Naperville to help Rachel move stuff, then went back to Wheaton for Joyce’s recital. Beautifully sung- especially the 3 Chinese pieces. Gordon & Julie drove out here from Pittsburgh too for it (hey Belinda, if you’re reading this, it’s the same Gordon & Julie that you know out at CMU. Small world, huh)
Ok. I have 3 minutes to post before midnight :P. This post feels so… scattered and not tied-down. Oh well. Will write more about camp in later days; it’s not the weekend that matters, as much as what happens in the weeks to follow
Woke up at 4:45 this morning again ~_~ ... and last night I was up till 2:00am. The strange thing is... I don't really feel tired. Must be the fact that, coming back from camp, I slept from 7:30p.m. till 9:30 the next morning ^^;;;. Still been trying to fight off this stupid cold/sore throat thing that I seem to have developed over the weekend at camp. At least it's no longer a drain on my energy the way it was on Sunday; now it's just a bit annoying, having to cough, clear my sinuses, and feel "phlegmy."
I enjoyed sitting under the teaching of Jerry Root again, even though most of it is repeated from all the classes I've had with him, it was still just as engaging, just as challenging. Most of you would have to simply take my word for it, but it seems that no matter what the class topic/title is, he always uses the same stories and same points in all those classes. Sometimes I wonder how that's possible... how a class on "Intro to Christian Education" can use the same stories as a class on C.S. Lewis. But more so than just the content of Jerry's talks, is how real it is when he says it. Again, most of you will have to take this by faith, but having heard Jerry say the same content over & over, I've realized that the "power" of his talks is actually not so much in the content, but it's in the person delivering it. I think someone else could take Jerry's talks, re-use the exact same points, and it would not have the impact that it does coming from him. That, I believe, is because the content of his talks is real to him. I've watched this man live out a life of loving God, loving people, and being honest with his own scratched-record; it sounds real because it is. It's easy to say "well of course, that's the way it should be." But how often I recognize how far my words (teaching, preaching, sharing) are such a far distance from what is lived-out. We do indeed live below the level of our convictions. Yet Jerry is an example to me of where someone of faith could be at... 30 years from now, when I'm his age, I would want to be at the place where he is in his relationship with God. Jerry's shared, time & again, that he's got a scratched-record like everyone else, and I don't have the illusion that somehow he is any more holy than the rest. But the difference with him is that his faith is lived out... he got there because he's always learning, always desiring to love Jesus more.
Because of being sick, I don’t feel like I got to enjoy camp as fully as I could’ve. But even so, the testimony time was such a blessing, and yet painful at the same time. It’s so easy to forget that a “youth group” is made up of individuals, each with a multitude of joys, pains, and burdens. And of course, during the course of the week-to-week at church, everyone looks fine. These times at camp remind me that there’s much more going on in the lives of the youth than meets the eye, that even when all seems well, they still need prayer. The testimonies gave me a good starting place to know how to pray for them.
I went up to share too, which is not something I usually do. But I felt convicted, largely because of my very visible impatience with almost everyone throughout the course of the beginning of camp. I suppose it’s due to being high-strung over camp planning, but it’s of no excuse. But it spite of my impatience and lack of love, I was humbled by how much they loved me. This came out in the little ways… small comments someone would make, the way some of them related with me, and at times, what someone would actually come out & say. And despite my goofiness, I’m well-loved here, a love which I do not deserve & cannot ask for.
David Hansen wrote in his book The Art of Pastoring that he as a pastor feels that HE is the one who needs to thank the congregation, not the other way around; I tend to agree with him. It’s really not the youth who are to be thanking me. It’s I who should thank them:
- for giving me trust and access to their lives
- by allowing me to pray with them, share with them
- for being teachable
- for being gracious when I’m really in need of their grace.
- for the opportunities of growth that serving them has given me
- for encouraging my own walk with God when I see God working in them
At camp, and here too, I want to take the opportunity to thank the youth group, for allowing this goofy scratched-record person to be in your midst and to be involved in your lives.
I thought of something during camp. Sometimes I get asked if there’s anything that the people can do to help me do my job. I can think of one thing: let me know how I can pray for you. In this way, I don’t have to guess, nor do I have to pull prayer requests out like pulling teeth. Please do feel free to tell me how to pray for you all.
===========================
Afternoon Bible study at Wheaton was fun; glad Esther could join us. Ran around Naperville to help Rachel move stuff, then went back to Wheaton for Joyce’s recital. Beautifully sung- especially the 3 Chinese pieces. Gordon & Julie drove out here from Pittsburgh too for it (hey Belinda, if you’re reading this, it’s the same Gordon & Julie that you know out at CMU. Small world, huh)
Ok. I have 3 minutes to post before midnight :P. This post feels so… scattered and not tied-down. Oh well. Will write more about camp in later days; it’s not the weekend that matters, as much as what happens in the weeks to follow
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