SoulThirst

Apparently we've noticed more spiders around Living Water... Josh said maybe a bunch just hatched @_@. *shudder* I hate spiders.... I HATE spiders.... >.< . Hm... what do you bait/trap them with? *sigh*. If any venture anywhere close to my room *WHAM*. Did I mention I hate spiders? ~_~

By God's grace I made it through today. Once again I'll refrain from evaluating how my talk went today. I'm trusting in God's own promise from Isaiah 55... that His word will not return to Him empty, and so that what was offered today will not be empty. This morning I wanted to scrap my talk & talk about something else, but I went with the original plan.

Something felt dark... heavy... frighteningly oppressive. For myself, I haven't slept well at all for a few days now, as well as having a feeling of being robbed of joy. On my bad days, I cannot force myself to have the patience to sit & pray. This morning felt heavily under spiritual oppression... like our gym was wrapped in a shadow. I felt like I was preaching to a wall. I know, having talked with a number of you, that many battles are going on- in your own hearts, in your families, at your schools- and it's hard, to say the least.

But I praise God for you all, that you guys haven't given up. In the movie "The Last Castle," Robert Redford plays a general who was put into prison, and he was recounting an experience when he was held as a captive in the war. His men had said "you kept us alive," but Redford replied, "no, they kept me alive. Many times in that cell, I've wanted to give up, but hearing the voices of my men in the next cell kept me from giving up. They were the ones who kept me alive"

In the same way, I owe thanks to you, the students that I have the honor to be with every week. On my bad days, it's hard to keep going. I shared with my Sunday School class, that with all these church issues going on, some days I don't have the faith that "it'll all be ok." But one big reason why I keep going... is I remember all of you, my "sheep," the group under my care. And I'm reminded to pray for you guys; I'm reminded & get to see that God is working in you; I'm given the privilege to walk alongside some of you. It keeps me going.

Thank you to my Sunday School class. Although I had a lesson ready, I knew that it didn't feel right to go ahead with it; yet at the same time, my own abilities to discern were clouded this morning too. So thanks to all of you, for helping me- helping one another- in not only being a blessing to each other, but also in helping the class see both what God is doing and our need for Him.

What I said to my class, I'll say to the youth group at large: hang in there with us, keep praying hard. I know there are a lot of things in our youth group that aren't going as well as they should; we've got holes, we've got problems. But we also have growth, maturing, and progress that's in process. An honest confession from your leaders is that we do NOT have everything together, packaged in a nice little box. There are a lot of things that are potentially messy, a number of difficult things going on. But I know I can speak for all the other counselors in saying that we desperately want the best for all of you... we want the best that God has for all of you, and we desperately want to be faithful in shepherding you all. For now, some things are incomplete, some are lacking, and a lot just needs prayer. Hang in there with us, and your prayers do make a difference.

Young Adult Fellowship tonight was good... intense but good. We talked about the sensitive, yet very important issue of: "is our community a place that feels safe for people to be open and vulnerable without feeling like there is a risk to them?" It's a hard question, and a few specific issues made the discussion all the more sensitive and painful, but it was a good one nonetheless... showed us our blind spots, the areas the Young Adult Ministry needs to grow. An intense- yet rich- time of prayer.

Galadriel told Frodo, "the quest stands on the edge of a knife"... and CCMC is very much there too.

Praying for mercy...

posted by Andy Chang @ 12:15 AM