SoulThirst

I guess it's time for a "real" entry, a serious entry.
I suppose I haven't written one in a while, for a number of reasons.

First, is just a time thing- I simply don't have the time to spend blogging
Second, is that much of has been going on isn't of a share-able nature
Finally, I think the novelty of blogging has diminished. It's NOT the same as journaling... it's impersonal (vs. a journal, which is personal to you), it doesn't encourage communication (as in, "how was your day?" ... "oh, just read my blog"), it creates a "safe distance" but keeps real community from forming.

And for me, I think too many people now read this & know of this for my own good. I never quite know who's reading this anymore, (half the youth group subscribes to my Xanga site), and it just doesn't work to blog for a "public audience." Certain things are better left unsaid for certain people. Originally I had hoped for this blog to be a means to let people outside of Chicagoland know what's been going on. I mean, I DO want to keep in touch with people, and I've been pretty bad at that. Yet, it still lacks that personal element to it. I've thought instead about stealing an idea from Xanga's "subscriptions"... namely to still "blog"... but I will personally e-mail it to my e-mail list. For one, it keeps control over who's reading it, and second, it can be more personal, akin to old-school letter writing. Especially for some of you who are out of town... Maryland, Boston, west coast, etc... it'd be my way of being more personally in contact.

Probably the biggest reason for wanting to do that though, is my own desire & request for your prayers to support me. An e-mail that I send out would let me share prayer requests- and gives you a way to reply with prayer requests of your own. Again, those of you wanting to be on my list of people to send my weekly updates/news/prayer requests to, please e-mail me or leave a comment.

While Chicagoland mourns the Cubs' loss of the NLCS, my heart lies somewhere else, and not because I'm not much of a baseball fan.
What prompted me to write all that I did about blogging & whatnot, stemmed from a realization that my priorities and pursuits have been decidedly misplaced. I'm tempted to use the word "worldly" or "unspiritual," but those terms don't sit right with me. Words like that make an altogether false divide between "worldly" and "spiritual"- and while there IS a difference, that difference is often exaggerated and spelled out in black & white terms, when in fact the distinction is blurred. And it's not like these "worldly things" are "bad things." There's nothing inherently sinful in many of our day to day activities (i.e. TV, AIM, errands, etc.). But a verse comes to mind, from 2 Timothy 2:4, Paul writing to Timothy using the imagery of being a soldier for Christ:

"No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him."

Civilian pursuits are fine... for the civilian (and for the soldier when it is the proper time & place). But for the soldier during times requiring discipline, fortitude and perseverance, such civilian pursuits ought not be there. And since working at the card store, I've been too much caught up in "civilian pursuits," forgetting much of the calling to be a soldier- a leader- in Christ's church. It's been somewhat frustrating, knowing that I ought to be at a better condition than I am, and seeing myself not there; somewhat difficult to maintain momentum- sometimes it feels like just going week to week.

Augustine says we should strive for a well-ordered heart, (or, ordered affections), that is to say
... to love the right thing
... in the right way
... to the right degree
... with the right kind of love

My heart has not been well-ordered. It's hard enough to love the right things, but probably the hardest to love to the right degree. Marva Dawn said that it's not about "balance"- it's not about juggling many things and hoping to get it "just right"... it is to be well-ordered.

Pray for me, to have a well-ordered heart.

Again, for the sake of my readership and whatnot, those of you who want to know more, who are willing to pray for me- send an e-mail, leave a comment, whatnot. We'll do this over written correspondence instead.

posted by Andy Chang @ 1:10 AM 0 comments

can't believe it's GOVERNOR Arnold >.<

the new Hamlet arrived in the mail

so did my North Face jacket. just in time for the WARM weather now >.<

I have the Lion King special edition

and my window is taken over on the outside by 20 ladybugs & a big ugly bug
whee

posted by Andy Chang @ 5:15 PM 0 comments