SoulThirst

Ok, so writing this, I'm in MAJOR nostalgia/sap mode. Just got back from wedding reception again. It was good to have a lot of time to just go around & talk to people, reintroduce & catch up.

Got to talk to MY old youth group counselors, and even the adults who taught Sunday School when I was in elementary school. It's kind of ironic, when they ask me what I'm doing, that I say "youth ministry." Who would've thought, that 8 years ago, they were my small group leaders, and now fast-forward 8 years, I'm standing where they once stood (only in Chicago). Makes me wonder... who among the youth of CCMC, will end up one day as youth group counselors themselves... or maybe even a youth pastor or two ^_^.

Most of the former youth group students still congregated in their old social groups, none of which I was really a part of. So I went around to see some of the younger students who are still in youth group, who were only elementary school/junior high when I was finishing youth group. Most of them probably don't even really know or remember me. Carmen, you're still such a sweetie ^_^ ... she's the only one who misses me enough & who is glad enough to see me back all the few times that I do come back. ^_^

Gideon, my old-timer "war buddy"... going through all the years in the trenches of church, ministry, & everything together. Funny how both of us are still in that line of work, huh :P. Except I'm getting paid for it (which doesn't mean all that much, really). Heh, look at us now, right, since 8th grade :P. "Heresy!"

Joseph gave a really powerful message today during service; while I know it's not true, it felt like the message was written almost specifically for me. As a Wheaton graduate, some of the humor would've only been funny to me (or to current Wheaton students). But there was a lot where he talked about ministry... the struggles, the wounds, and rough spots of ministry & serving with CBC. But then just seeing his life-testimony, of sticking with it for 9, almost 10, years... how he's remained faithful & really made a commitment to this church & the people here. He told the stories with tears, of things that took 7-8 years just to build. You wanna know inspiring? THAT's inspiring. And I hope I can say that one day too about my own relationship with a church- that God would call me to one place & call me to be faithful, even though it won't always be easy. He said that your relationship with your church is similiar to your relationship with your spouse: The initial experience being great, but then as you get to know one another, you start seeing the imperfections... and it gets harder to love the other. After a while, you have a choice to make. It's what I wrote about yesterday... for better or for worse, being "wed" to a church community, that in sickness & in health, it's your church. CCMC's been a growing process for me too- the relationships have taken a while to form... & I've had my share of disagreements, even with past & present small group leaders. But we still all work together... have learned to understand & forgive one another. Joseph gave a special word to all the ministers in the audience today... to stick with it, and not take the easy way out of leaving... not to quit early, to not "be apart from the people"... but to really get down in & among the people... to love them, give them life, and persevere- with joy- through it all. I hope someday I can say the same. The message was powerful to me because I know Joseph & the context he's giving it... I've seen the years of perseverance, and it really does inspire me.

Let your wounds tell the story of Christ.

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Yes, it was hard to leave the reception today... not quite sure when to go, when was I REALLY done with goodbyes. Some of the people there I might not see again until the next wedding or perhaps even longer. I noticed that to many people, I said something like "how are you doing? I know I haven't been good at keeping in touch..." And while that's the truth, it's somewhat obvious. Of course I wasn't good at it, or else I wouldn't even need to say that; furthermore, if I really put enough stock into the relationship, I would've made the effort to keep in touch. I kept in touch with Kary for all 4 years of college, didn't I?
Most of my conversations sounded like: "hey _____, how's it going? what are you up to nowadays? work? school? how's that been going? When was last we talked... gosh, 4 years? more? Glad you're doing well. Hey, what's your e-mail, I'll try to keep in touch :P."
What if, instead, the conversations went something like this?:


"Oh, God? yea, I know him. Big guy, kind of white & glowing, right? Yea, we've talked a few times over the past year. Yea, I think he's doing well, not quite sure what he's up to. Y'kno, I just haven't been very good at keeping in touch. I visit every so often, but it's always so rushed... you know how it is. [Does he have e-mail now?]"... I'm kidding in that last sentence >.<

or maybe

"Heyyyy... God, long time no see. Yea, I've been bad at keeping in touch... how are things? I'm alright, y'kno, same ol'... school, work, things like that. Fancy seeing you around here... how long will you be around for? Well anyway, I've gotta go catch up with some other people now too. Later"

Sounds silly, huh? That pretty much summarizes a number of the conversations I had this weekend... in my cynicism, somewhat shallow and merely polite.... but in truth, if I really cared about the friendship, things would sound different. It'd sound much more like me & Gideon talking.

posted by Andy Chang @ 4:01 PM