SoulThirst

Just got home from Joseph's wedding. This'll be a long entry, and I don't expect everyone to want to read it, especially if you aren't from Maryland or if you went to the wedding itself. But CBC can scroll to the very end paragraph, if you don't want to read it all.

Sheesh, it seems like half the Asians on the East Coast were here or somethin @.@. I saw people from Boston all the way down to North Carolina; names & faces of people I've lost touch with. Since going back out to Wheaton, I've really been bad at keeping in touch with the people I used to know, except for a scattered few ones. Gosh, almost all the old CBC crowd were there...
- Guys like Phil Su (the one who, my first night on worship team, or "singspiration" as we called it back in the early 90s, taught me what I needed to know)
- The adults who were MY small group leaders & counselors when I was in youth group... Everett & Angela, John Lee, Deb & Allan (their son & daughter are both SO cute)
- Past camp/retreat speakers that Joseph had invited to speak at retreats that I went to
- My peers (those my age or just 1-2 years older)... most of whom are all over the place working or finishing school & don't come back much
- a BUNCH of Wheaton folk came down (Vince, Jeff, Joe, Paul, Esther) to visit
- then there's the bunch who used to be little junior high kids or younger when I left for Wheaton... now gonna be juniors/seniors @.@ (Dang, I hardly recognize most of you anymore)

Today was a day of memory, and remembrance, in addition to celebration. Seeing not only my peers, but also the countless adults of the church, many of whom have watched me grow up. It's a strange thing, to see what happens with all of them when their children- my peers- grow up every year, head off to college, finish college, and some getting married. And even with my own peers... remembering days in youth groups, retreats, good memories, but also painful memories- the old scratches in the record from young punk teenage years.

The actual wedding itself. A very "modern" wedding, definitely. I don't know how much the parents & older crowd necessarily enjoyed it. Most of it was "music"-based. Started out with a strings group playing a medley from Sound of Music. Then the old-school worship team (plus a few of Theresa's- Joseph's wife- friends added into the mix). Dude. The 2 Korean guys on bass & electric were REALLY good; probably the best Asian bass or electric player I've heard. Anyway. There was something different about the time of worship, and at least for me, it had to do with remembering the times when I was in high school still, and Joseph would be doing his youth pastor thing of preaching, leading, etc., and always teaching us quite simply to love God & love people. And today, seeing basically the fruit of 9+ years of ministry all standing in that room- we were all students whom Joseph had influenced, pastored, and watched grow up- seeing everyone sing & worship, knowing for Joseph that it was a celebration not only of his marriage, but also of his living testimony of what he has done over the years with us. I guess that's what it means to worship in community, to worship WITH those around you- with all the history, good & bad; with the people you know & that you don't, the ones you like & even ones you dislike. But knowing, that as different as we are, Joseph loved each of us & make a mark on all our lives.

Not all the songs were "contemporary"- Great is Thy Faithfulness & Be Thou My Vision made it into the mix too. Joseph taught us to love the old hymns too. And today being Joseph's wedding day- the big milestone that it is- what an indescribable moment it must be for him to look back & say about God, "He's brought me to this day." And even just thinking about the important times in my own life thus far... youth group, Wheaton, finishing college... all the beginnings & ends, and to be able to say:
All I have needed, Thy hand has provided. Great is Thy Faithfulness Lord unto me"
There was a depth there that cannot be explained, but only experienced.

Funnier moments included:
- an improptu moment of Joseph deciding to "sing" for Theresa, but explaining to us all he knew how to sing was Guns & Roses, and that he sounded like Elmer Fudd (no kidding, he did)
- Then Brian instead singing "for" Joseph, but singing that song at the end of "The Wedding Singer" (the song on the plane)... and Joseph (purposely) going "no no, not that one >.<"
- Joseph had the ring boy (ring bearer) DRIVE down the aisle in a little red electric jeep. That was just so... random @.@
- always the slide show... seeing pictures of Joseph from his younger days

A message to CBC- the youth, the college students, my peers, & all the rest.
It's ironic how Scripture chooses a wedding as the image of Christ & His church, and even the image of the church as a "body." Both those images convey a sense of being stuck together, of being with one another even when we might not want to be. In the wedding vows, we hear "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live." I don't think you have to be married to understand at least in part what that means.

My own relationship with this church has, in some ways, been like that. Without a doubt, it is the place that has raised me spiritually, and a place where I grew up physically too every week. Sunday School teachers like Ed, Ann, Carol, etc. taught me through elementary school. John Lee, Everett & Angela, Rich & Becky, etc. through Junior High. And of course there's Joseph. Some of you younger ones remember me teaching you guys in Vacation Bible School & other instances of knowing me when you were little. There's a lot of history in this place. I can't say all the history has been good, however. There were plenty of hurts, plenty of bad memories, and plenty need for grace. And I can't say either that I've been very good at forgiving or being gracious.

But, in the body of Christ- like in a marriage, I suppose it'll always be like that- some good, some bad, but through it all, a commitment to be in it together. After all, we as Christians are "stuck together" for eternity, by the profession of faith we made at the very beginning of our relationship with God. Not only did we promise to love God, but we (perhaps unknowingly) got roped in & stuck with the rest of God's children. I didn't want to stick around, really; in fact, in college when I had the chance, I didn't come back, not even when I was back in the area. I guess some memories were just too hard to remember, some history too hard to live with. Yet at the same time, God didn't allow me to fully leave. Today as I saw most everyone again- the ones older & the ones younger than me- I have to admit: this is my church. For all the ups & downs, this is my church. Some of you may not know me, some may only cordially remember me, or perhaps some would rather not remember :P. But you guys are my church. It's cool seeing how everyone has been growing & changing, being led by God & transformed into who you will become.

For better or worse, I guess I'm here.

posted by Andy Chang @ 4:00 PM